Britain’s Quest for a "Manly Man" Like Putin

I bet many of you have had about all you can stand of British media and its relentless deference to the party line on foreign relations. Good God, when will England and her colonies finally figure out the deal on Russia? Can the Brittunculi finally deliver themselves from Putin-phobia? At long last there is hope, so do not be discouraged; a writer at The Guardian shows us all the pin prick of light.

Imagine David Cameron without a shirt, fishing on the moors of Scotland. Okay, now it’s easy for you to see why that British Prime Minster is so scared of Vladimir Putin. Picturing Cameron outdoors at all, any more than a yard away from a good cup of tea, is impossible. Having inserted the vision into your brains like this, now I’ll make my point.

Why do the British long for a real man in office? Could all our problems be related to envy over Vladimir Putin’s virility? The answer can be found in the rest of my article, but also in this quote from the great Seneca:

“No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself.”

So we see in the imposed adversity onto Vladimir Putin, in his endless parrying contentions and strategies from the west, his ultimate crowning achievment. And, too, we see the unhappy losers in a real bout for manhood, the mischievous but sophomoric policy puppets of our western world. One reason that the historically tough Brits seem to elect panty waist leaders, now portrayed as anti-Putin tough guys, could be there’s no one left wearing man britches? The real rub, though, is that western leadership has simply not met the challenge physically or mentally. Putin seems to be in a game not of his own making, surrounded by those masquerading leadership.

I thought America was the only country in the world run by talkers who lose and call it winning! As for the British, even that country’s Jr Bozos reflect a sissified caricature of leadership. One such loser, the deft Stuart Heritage of the country’s only living news source, The Guardian, offers up the latest in a line of British Obama clones.

Nick Clegg, a man so tough he’s been to Sea World and petted Shamu personally, was caught on camera recently pretending to be Lord Graystoke, minus the Tarzan expereinces. Outside fun parks and pseudo-manly endeavors Clegg engages in, the assistant Prime Minister is faster than a speeding bullet trying to distance his party from MP pedophile Cyril Smith these later days. I cannot be the only person on Earth wondering: “Could the British actually do worse at finding leaders?” Then my “aha!” alarm goes off; “Maybe a real British he-man would do better?”

Hell, anybody could do better, but it seems like looking for the right leader could become simplified if “man hands” were a criteria. For my part, the English speaking world may soon collapse under the weight of wishy-washy imbeciles and “yes men,” clueless except for their orders passed down, their scripts rolling across the teleprompter. It’s no wonder Putin makes fools of the Anglo and the Saxon, and even the America breed of puffed up PR cuckolds. We’re in a sorry state, as the Guardian author describes the United Kingdom’s policy woes over Putin:

“… how to deal with Vladimir Putin. In 2015 he’s our big baddie; the steely puppetmaster with whom our next prime minister will inevitably go chest to chest. Even MPs like Nick Boles are so worried who will lead us through the Putin threat that they’ve started indiscriminately canvassing Twitter for opinions. Think you can lead a country? First, prove you’re tough enough to deal with Putin…”


Hogwash, I tell you. Sure, Vladimir Putin is a “man’s man” of a world leader and, of course, his own countrymen almost unanimously support him. It’s true he outwits his opponents each-and-every-single-solitary-time they try to cripple Russia with some new sanction, some under the table oil deal, or a mud slinging and allegation campaign. And I assure you, even his most virulent opponents amongst America’s ranks, they secretly admire Putin. But the problem for America, the UK, the EU, and all the other “allies versus Russia” is not Putin manfullness. Seriously, it is not. I’m stunned no London or New York broadsheet newspaper has surmised ’til now, Putin is winning because western policy sucks! Ohh! I said it.

Look here, folks; Vladmir Putin is cool! He’s clearly someone to look up to, or to at least respect (even fear, if you are a candy ass). The crisis today between western democracies and Russia can be solved in an instant, and not by beating the Russian leader at arm wrestling or judo. What if a simple man were elected Prime Minister of Britain, or the President of United States for that matter? What would a “simple man” or “simple woman” do to mediate a world in crisis? I can recall echoes of such from my history lessons:

“When the conduct of men is designed to be influenced, persuasion, kind, unassuming persuasion, should ever be adopted. It is an old and a true maxim, that – a drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.” – Abraham Lincoln 

If we are clear on the matter of Ukraine and on Crimea, we must consider Russia did not attack anyone there. Sure, there are events to which none of us are in agreement that took place, but certainly no invasion occurred. Vladimir Putin’s armies did not roll across the steppe, crushing Lithuania, Poland, and the east of Germany beneath tank treads. A region that has always been Russian turned homeward, and an installed government in Kiev began bombing and shelling its own citizens to death in Donass, just a few kilometers from Mother Russia. All the facts will never be in on this calamity, to be sure, but for Russians (and anyone of reason) the west has been on the offensive all along. This must be, first and foremost, considered by anyone who wishes to be called leader.


We watch listlessly an American president who is at once a poodle lover, basketball star, major league pitcher, football quarterback, civil rights marcher, ghetto survivor, Jewish, Muslim, protestant lawyer, banker,  professor, baby kisser, and comedian wannabe – propped up by powerful PR people. Meanwhile across the big pond, our British brethren throw down the draughts chuckling over alleged sex offenders, sex partakers, wild orgies and under the table sterling passages, a leadership meltdown, a national dissoluteness so critical few can grasp it. OH NO! The blame for Britannia’s problems are twofold! Romanian gypsies have stolen our social services, and Vladimir Putin wants to mud wrestle the Queen! America and Britian have digressed, sunken, fallen prey to the “excuse method” of proclaiming wins, while economies and lives lay shattered beneath pompous poppycock. 

Jesus God. Has it not occurred to anyone over there in foggy London to leave the Russian people alone? Don’t worry for the Crimea, they’re happy to be back in Russia, really they are. Ask them, if you do not believe me. There’s no need for you to leave your shop, your pub, your 9-5 job at that Edinburgh country club pro shop to serve in Her Majesty’s upcoming World War on Putin. Well, that is, unless your idiot leaders keep poking out pasty white chests devoid of pectoral prowess and faking excellence of whatever kind, instead of actually pursuing it. I’d suggest voting a fuzzy and dark tanned Welch man in, or a Scot, anyone simply able to extend a sturdy hand to agree on a dissolution of hostilities – a reboot of dastardly dealing. Make me King for a day, and the whole affair will disappear overnight; it’s simply not so hard. Oh, and guess what, you rich pompous asses out there convinced war is the only way? You can still rake in billions doing good stuff. 

Now this leader would be a confident and virile Englander. What about it? Can the Londoner out there on the streets panhandling for a handout imagine a thriving economy not mortgaged to the hilt buying bonds and bombs, an England not on the cusp of a world war again!  I leave you with a quote from a real man, and the reason Britain must follow my advice. What has Vladimir Putin done to the British Isles, after all? 

“We do not admire the man of timid peace. We admire the man who embodies victorious effort; the man who never wrongs his neighbor, who is prompt to help a friend, but who has those virile qualities necessary to win in the stern strife of actual life.” –Theodore Roosevelt 

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