The Official Russian Temperature Chart:
+50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
Russians plant gardens.
+35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
Russians drive with the windows down
+32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C)
Russian water gets thicker.
0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
Russians have the last cookout of the season.
-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
Time to play chess inside.
-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)
Russians pull down their ear flaps.
-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
Ethyl alcohol Freezes and Russians get frustrated when they can’t thaw the vodka.
-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)
Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops that is when Russians start admitting that it is “cold, eh?”
-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
Hell freezes over and it is time to go Ice Fishing.