Lenin and tsar fined for booze on Red Square

Mortal enemies Nicholas II and Vladimir Lenin have joined forces against Moscow’s police.

The two say they have been wrongly fined 20,000 rubles for hooliganism and drinking alcohol on the streets.

Nicholas and Lenin are the actors who earn their daily bread entertaining passersby near Red Square. The heroes of the past say they have been working near Red Square for six years and have never done anything wrong.

“Our hobby is to entertain people,” Nicholas II said. “They are so gloomy in Moscow. We want them to smile – at least when they see us. I can’t say I get a lot of money from it.”

“No one has ever complained about us,” Lenin added. “Every Muscovite and many Russians have visited Red Square and see that we are not hooligans swearing all the time and meddling with passersby.”

Still, the guests from the past admit not having any work permits, as the local authorities refuse to grant them any – despite the fact that both are registered as individual entrepreneurs. The actors also point out that “Brezhnev” and “Stalin” are currently having the same problems.

“They say Moscow’s central district has no workplace for actors at any of its squares,” the actors said.

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